Lucky Number 13
by Shadow's Illusion
Summary: Envy THOUGHT that Friday the 13th would be in his favor...


FRIDAY THE 13th, YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY! Today is my favorite day! God luck too! Anyway. THIS IS MY FIRST LEMON! No flamey, please?

**Rated – M**

**Warnings – Language, adult content, lemon...**

**Disclaimer – If I owned it, there would be no character death, and Envy plus others would torture Ed (but I LOVE Ed, I just like stories where Ed gets hurt)…**

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It was Friday the 13th. Envy was pretty happy. Lust told him about it, and he figured that there were seven sins, and that was good luck in itself. He was sooooo wrong.

The first time something happened was when Envy was reading a book. As he turned the page, he got a pretty bad paper cut. It healed, but it left Envy wondering. Was it just a coincidence? Of course! Envy just shrugged it off.

The second time something happened, it was when Envy was walking out of the door to the library. He stubbed his toe on the door frame and then tripped and fell on his face.

"FUCK!" was all the sin screamed before he got up, and dusted himself off.

Later on that day, Envy was walking through the streets, when suddenly, out of nowhere, a car came and ran him over. After he regenerated, he just lay there.

" I wonder if Chibi-chan is having a better day then me…" and, ironically, just as Envy said that, something happened.

/ Ed And Al's New House \

Ed was hungry. He wanted soup. They had just bought a couple of cans, and Ed was looking for them. Somehow, Al knew his brother was looking for the soup, from the other room, and called,

"It's in the cabinet, brother!"

Ed smiled. He opened the large cabinet, and saw the soup…waaaaaaayyy high up. He cursed under his breath, and started jumping. He somehow managed to reach the can, but was hanging off the edge of the shelf. He heard Al's voice come from the other room.

"Brother, you if you hang there too long, you'll," and at that moment, just as Envy asked himself about Ed, the cabinet leaned forward, and fell on top of Ed.

"SHIT! DAMN CABINET!" yelled Ed in frustration.

Al's voice came again, but lighter than before.

" Crash."

/ End \

Envy slowly got up and decided to walk back home. On the way, though, more bad luck occurred. He stumbled more, got hit in the head with a rock, and a flock of crows decided to perch upon his hair.

When Envy reached the door, the birds were gone and the bump healed. Opening the door, the greenish-black haired sin was knocked over the head with a brick…

**A Couple Hours Later**

Envy awoke to a blurry light. He tried to move his hands, but he found he couldn't. The sin's eyes shot open. He immediately struggled. Being hit with a brick, along with the other events of the day, took away some of his energy. Envy stopped struggling when he felt cold, hard hands slide up his sides.

When the palm-tree haired homunculus' vision cleared, his eyes widened. Greed was hovering mere inches from his face.

"What the fuck, Greed? Dammit! Get me the hell out of these ropes!" Envy yelled.

His hands were conveniently bound to the headboard of Greed's bed. The said sin cocked an eyebrow. Then he smiled devilishly.

"Why, then this wouldn't be any fun," he said in a mock pout, "And oh. Will this be fun!"

Greed slowly stood up, and started removing his clothes.

"GREED, YOU NASTY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" hollered a very disturbed sin.

Greed just looked at him, and continued what he was doing. He came back to the bed, and rested on top of Envy.

"What does it look like? I'm going to fuck you raw," he said in an innocent voice.

Envy couldn't take it. He turned a very bright shade of red, and whispered to Greed's face, which was now centimeters away.

"You sick…mph!"

The sins protests were lost into Greed's mouth. As he was ravishing Envy's mouth, his hands trailed down to the other's skort. Envy whimpered into his mouth, and Greed just smirked.

He quickly swiped his hand, now black and hard, down Envy's waist. Off came the other sin's only protection against what he considered a monster.

Envy bucked against the other, not liking his body's reaction. Greed slowly pulled away, hand trailing down, down.

Envy gasped as Greed's hand roughly started stroking his hard length. Greed just purred in response. His hand was moving faster, and faster, and then…

Envy saw lights explode behind his eyes as he bucked forward, and came messily into the other's hand. He was now sweating and panting, as he watched Greed lick his fingers clean with half lidded eyes.

After Greed was done, he looked at Envy. He slowly moved up the other sin's body, and took advantage him. He sucked on two fingers, and gently pushed them into Envy's tight entrance. He loved the delicious moans emitted from the other sin.

Greed stated pumping, slowly at first, but then sped up. Just as Envy started to actually enjoy himself, Greed's fingers retreated. The bound sin gave a whimper of protest, but soon felt the other above him.

"Here I come, my dear palm-tree head," Greed whispered into Envy's ear.

Before he could growl back, he felt white hot pain shoot up his back. Greed had, undoubtedly, entered him. With absolutely no warning, nor any lubricant. Yea. In other words, it felt like a tree branch was shoved up his ass. A very hard, thick tree branch.

Greed let Envy adjust. He wanted this to be memorable. He slowly started thrusting in and out of the tight, hot passage, faster and faster, until he was ramming into the other. Envy didn't hold back the moans that escaped his mouth. He started to move along with the erotic rhythm.

As Greed plunged into the lithe body below him, he felt himself get closer and closer to release. Envy felt the same way.

"Greed, you're…ahhh!"

And with that, Greed went over the edge, spilling his seed within the form below him. But the bastard, oh such the bastard he was, rode out his orgasm. Envy moaned in ecstasy. He felt so damn GOOD. A few moments and thrusts later, Envy came, heavily. Fireworks were set off behind his eyes, and tilted his head back and moaned. He and Greed panted, out of breath.

The one above him sighed and flopped down, too spent to move. When he regained his breath, Greed slowly slid out, as Envy whimpered at the feeling of emptiness. Greed flopped down behind Envy and held him close to his chest.

The greenish-black haired homunculus sighed and snuggled closer. Greed's mouth moved down and lingered above the other's ear.

"Happy Friday the 13th," the sin whispered.

Envy shivered slightly from the feeling of warm breath on his neck. Something just clicked, and Envy mock scowled.

"Friday the 13th isn't a holiday, you bastard," he said playfully.

Greed just smiled into Envy's hair, as they both fell into blissful sleep.

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SHORT EPILOUGUE THINGY – Of course, Envy could barely stand the next morning, and decided to limp. The other sins gave him and Greed questioning glances. Envy just waved them off. Wrath, being young and naïve, went up to Envy and looked up into his eyes.

"Envy? Why are you limping? You look tired, too," came the innocent voice.

The palm-tree haired sin just smiled, nice and big. Wrath tilted his head to one side, and continued to look up with big eyes. The taller one ruffled his hair, and responded in a happy kind of voice.

"THAT is something you will learn when you're about 35."

And with wide eyes from the rest, Envy exited the room for fresh air, silently planning his revenge for Greed. Oh yes. Greed would get it. But on his way out, Envy tripped on a rock.

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OMFG! I cannot believe I wrote something like that! I promised I wouldn't EVER! But, I kind liked it a little myself…GAH! What am I thinking? Anyway, review, and tell me what you liked, and what I could work on. Maybe I'll write more… 


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